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I am embarrassed to admit; “I WAS NOT OK.”
When I finally had an abnormally lucid afternoon. I looked in the mirror and saw myself for the first time in my life. I confessed to my therapist that evening I had been pulling my hair and I showed her what I had done to myself. I was so caught up in my spiderweb, I…
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Something you flush;
Being, not even good enough to be called “human being.” To everyone; like an asshole. There in lies a truly meaningless but life altering opinion. You’re nothing but a drug test. Something expelled and flushed. After all, in your catastrophic irrelevant life altering opinions. I am just like my urine. Nothing of value to anyone.…
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Half past four.
I’ve yet to identify “this”; Whatever has taken over. It’s officially set up shop. Where profound grief was held, I have held for far too long and. Debilitating, Consuming; Grief. The heinous kind that makes you frail and weak. He assumed I am broken beyond repair. Just the other day, The other day at half-past…
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Becoming bulletproof, in my own way.
I happened upon his doorstep, in late June of 2015. In hindsight, I can clearly see Mr. Esq was the person that was supposed to reign me in, Gary’s way to control by proxy. Mr Esq. Was my first step. I had been “thrown away” so many times I didn’t even realize my wardrobe was…
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“Quiet or I’ll kill you.” And he really meant that..
I guess on the inside of me I was angry because I couldn’t understand what I had done wrong, what I did that made me hurt you or maybe made you hate me so much. Then I remember you went to counseling with me once, I had stolen your pills all of them every single…
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I am safe, you are always safe;
We go back and forth, Constantly sizing me up. His opinion is just that, an opinion. He is no one, he’s nothing. The battles are over it’s time to finish this war. If you’re going to try something go all the way. Otherwise don’t even start. Bukowski
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Fortitude,
COURAGE IN PAIN OR ADVERSITY. You’re not dreaming; this is not a test or one of your far-fetched silly fantasies. The dreamer, you prayed would die. And yet every morning, you woke up with that sadistic personality flaw. The dreamer. It never died or took a vacation even when, by all appearances and all logic,…
I am AnxietyGirl; leaping to the worst possible conclusion in a single bound.
She held her breath and jumped. My personal blog.
